


All Fuck Ups Go to Heaven

by SaturnSpaceSquid



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Everyone Needs Therapy, F/F, Fem! V, Johnny is still an asshole he's just kind of funny too, Judy is tired of people killing themselves, Panam is a confused questioning bisexual, Suicide Attempt, V feels guilty, V is a little emotionally awkward, mentions of Jackie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:27:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29394072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaturnSpaceSquid/pseuds/SaturnSpaceSquid
Summary: V is tired of hurting those she loves, but she seems to be unable to keep screwing everything up, even dying.
Relationships: Judy Alvarez/V
Kudos: 35





	All Fuck Ups Go to Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> I've been having lots of writers block, but this story came out of nowhere, so we'll see how this goes. This whole story is going to have trigger warnings mainly for suicide and dying. I hope you all enjoy though!

The silence that follows the click of a finished conversation drags V into her head for a moment as her thoughts overwhelm her.

"If this goes wrong, I'll never see Judy again. People could die, I would cause more people I love to die, why do I cause everything to go to shit? Fuck, it's all going wrong!" V digs her nails into her scalp as she shoves her hands into her face.

"V?" Johnny sounds hesitant, unsure of how to deal with this possible mental breakdown. V takes a deep breath and sits up as she looks out at Night City. Her eyes glance over at Johnny who stares back at her silently.

"What do you want to do? Rogue could help us or even those Aldecaldos friends of yours." V looks away as she leans back and silently stares out at the city again. Her hand brushes against the gun Viktor had loaned her, her fingers gently grasping it as she places it in her lap.

"Johnny, how many people deserve to die for me? How many people should die for you?" Johnny shifts uncomfortably as he considers the question.

"No one should die for me, V. You have friends who are willing, even though they know what it could mean. That's something I never had." V nods as she opens her hand with the pills. She concentrates for a moment, trying to solve a problem with no solution in her head.

"It was always going to be this way. No more dying, we should set things straight." V tosses the pills over the edge as Johnny watches them fall.

"V? You've lost me. What's the plan?" V finally looks back at him, her eyes dull. Johnny sighs as he understands, moving to sit next to her.

"You always surprise me, V." V looks down at the gun in her hands. She turns it and checks the ammo, one bullet left.

"Let's hope I don't fuck this up like I've fucked everything else up." V says, a faint smirk pulling at her lips. 

"Always told you we had something in common. Can't believe I managed to end up in the head of another screw up." V and Johnny chuckle softly.

"You aren't so bad, Johnny. You're a piece of shit and a man whore, but I'd say we're chooms." Johnny nods.

"You're not so fucking awful either, V." They both laugh again. The sound of rushing wind passes them as V stands, the gun in hand. The wind moves her hair back as she stands at the edge of the roof.

"This city has taken everything from me, I don't know why I never left sooner." V grits her teeth as she raises the gun to her head, the cold metal pushed into the side of her head.

V feels her hand shake as she looks over at Johnny. "Aren't you afraid?" She asks, not moving the weapon from her head. Her vision blurs as she blinks away the sudden tears.

"We were always ready for this possibility weren't we? Besides, it's not the first time I've died." V sobs slightly at that as she closes her eyes.

"Fuck." She feels her finger reach for the trigger before she hears it.

"V! What the fuck are you doing?!" V turns suddenly, Johnny throwing the gun out of her hand as she feels herself stumble and begin to fall.

Everything stops suddenly as someone catches her and quickly pulls her back on the rooftop. V feels dizzy as she tries to collect her bearings, her eyes catching sight of Viktor above her.

"Kid? Can you hear me?" V nods as she looks around, her heart racing at the sight of Judy, who currently has mascara running down her cheeks.

"What are you doing here?" V asks Viktor, who looks at her with a look of hurt.

"You tried to kill yourself kid, what the hell are you talking about?" Anger flares up in her as she sits up more.

"You gave me a gun, Viktor. What did you expect?!" Viktor frowns as he stands.

"I expected you to fight, or do anything other than this! If you want to die then-" 

"Vik!" Judy interrupts as she walks over to V. Viktor's expression softens as he looks back down at V, who is still shaking on the ground, unwiped tears staining her face.

Judy kneels down in front of V, grabbing her shoulders and pulling her into a tight embrace.

"I'm so fucking mad at you, V. You scared me so much, you can't scare me. I can't do this again, not after everything with Evey." V wraps her arms around her lover as she feels her breathe heavily into her neck.

"I won't do it, Judy. I'm sorry." V whispers to Judy as she continues mumbling. 

V looks at Johnny as he frowns back at her, an unsure expression on his face. 

"Guess I do fuck everything up, huh?" V thinks to Johnny as he smirks.

"We aren't so different, V. Question is, what are we going to do now?" V sighs as she consoles Judy. What were they going to do now?


End file.
